Recovery

A lot has happened since September 2018. I had surgery and they sorted out my sinus issues. My right septum was deviated but more importantly, they found that my right upper turbinate was blocked - causing loads of issues in terms of breath, nadis or meridians.

So now I’m connecting with myself, lots of yoga, meditation and other weird stuff to
connect with my true self.

I had an audition for The Voice which was out of the blue and exciting.

What I like about getting up each day is that you get the opportunity to renew everyday; there’s a beauty in that.

Surgery

Following on from my last post (that I didn't have Glue Ear) I went to another ENT who also said the same thing. He also said for me to get on with my life and that it was all in my mind. He also performed a nasal endoscopy and said everything was fine.

As you can imagine at this point I was freaking furious with the ineptitude of both consultants that I had seen in that fine, good that I don't have Glue Ear, but what the hell is the problem?

So... immediately after the consultation I booked same-day appointment with a private ENT in South London. Hopped on the Tube from Archway to Brixton and then saw him an hour afterwards. 5 minutes with him and he identified the problem: a deviated septum to the right with further deflection and a swollen inferior turbinate to the right. These were blocking the airways to get to the right side of my sinuses and ear which for me felt like I had ear issues.

Surgery happened last week and I am still in recovery, I had laser surgery which greatly speeds up the healing process and you don't have to have nasal packs and all of that stuff, which I had when I was younger. Actually, come to think of it, I had surgery on my nose when I was 18 and they probably did a bad job then! (that's a whole load of trauma that I'll deal with in songs).  It's a bit gross with lots of blood and stuff coming out of my nose and bringing up blood clots and lots of nastiness. But it's getting better and every now-and-then I have clear sinuses and ears that don't pop and it's so, indescribable lovely.

I have started to sing - but taking it easy as my nose is still delicate.

Update on stuff

So the good news is that my ears are fine and I don't have Glue Ear. Yay. The audiologist performed an audiogram, a tympanometry test and a bone conduction test. All result were fine and my hearing is above average which is awesome.

The bad news is that I still don't know exactly what is wrong. I've got some ENT appointments schedule for the next coming weeks; I'm going to see if I can get my sinuses checked out.

Love and light x

Glue Ear - Otitis Media with Effusion

Hi,

So I thought that I had sorted out my ear issues when I had microsuction to suck out all the gunk in my ears. When they did it, the difference in hearing was amazing, and it felt great to be without the gobulea of gunk in my ear canal.

However, I realised after a while that the glue ear is an underlying condition (discussed with the doc) and I’m now waiting to see an ENT via NHS. I have a few months to wait for my appointment, which is hell, so I’m experimenting with different guitar ideas in the meantime.

I feel so pissed off about my ear situation; I’ve stopped singing as I don’t see the point in it when my middle ear is basically drowning in gunk.

If you are wondering what I’m taking my about - imagine when you descend on a plane and need to ‘pop’ your ears. Well, my ears are always able to pop. So my default is slightly different to the norm.

Go create mayhem,

Jagtar x

New material

Hi,

So I'm going through the process of recording and posting new videos and songs on Youtube to build my page. I'm really getting into the recording process and focusing on being "in" the performance. I've been working using Fitzmaurice Voicework which is just incredible in so many, many ways. I particularly like the way it enables fluidity in the body and breath - it's akin to touching the power of Yoda :)

Major breakthrough!

OMG I am so excited by this all and extremely upset by it at the same time.


I had a recording session in Yorkshire in January which went alright, but wasn't perfect. My vocals were ok but ropey, and interesting when we looked at the sound wave of the vocals, there were upper and lower spikes in the sound wave, which is really weird. We just put it down to being 'my sound' like on the edge.


So that was that and I also had tuning issues on the guitar. We finished the week with an incomplete recording which was not the intended result.


On our (wifey got a holiday) way back to London, I was listening to music whilst driving and as I often do, I equalized my ears by holding my nose and blowing. As I did so, I suddenly heard all of these upper harmonics and frequencies in the music; it was magical. I really thought it was some witchcraft or something. We pulled over at the next services and I did a bit of googling and found that ear problems can cause singers to sing not on the money.


I called the Dr, and he (over the phone) diagnosed a Eustachian Tube Dysfunction ,so I used my nose to blow up a balloon for a week with this thing. I also went to a Chinese Dr and she got a massive chunk of wax out using the candle method. Actually, the candle method dislodged a load of wax and I lost hearing in my right ear.


So, I freaked out and managed to get an emergency appointment with the Dr and she took a look and said there was a load of wax in both ears; she couldn't see through my right ear. We subsequently made an appointment with the nurse, which would have been in two weeks' time.


One of my good friends recommended a place in Soho where they use suction technology to pull wax and debris out and I managed to get an appointment for that same day. 5 minutes with the surgeon and she had pulled out massive black globules of wax (size of rabbit poo), compacted down with dead skin from each ear. She said that it's possibly been there for many, many years. As soon as she worked her magic I could hear properly, and I mean hear in crystal clear detail.


It has been so amazing, hearing the world as it is rather than a dulled version of it. There is so much vibrancy in everything and I am really happy. My voice sounds very different to me now and I'm working on certain things; mainly trusting my voice and building agility, as it's much easier to be agile when you can hear what you are doing. I am really optimistic about the future and I'll be recording some demos and YouTube vids soon. I've started using baritone strings on my guitar and I'll see how it goes.


At the beginning of the post I mentioned that I was extremely upset by it also. The whole big WHAT IF I HAD KNOWN EARLIER? Well,  I am lucky to work with some amazing people and a trusted friend recommended I read the following poem, which I'm trying to fully assimilate. Jagtar x

I AM Poem by Helen Mallicoat

I was regretting the past 
And fearing the future. 
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

“My name is I Am.” He paused. 
I waited. He continued,
When you live in the past 
With its mistakes and regrets, 
It is hard. I am not there, 
My name is not I WAS”.

When you live in the future 
With its problems and fears, 
It is hard. I am not there. 
My name is not I WILL BE.

When you live in this moment, 
It is not hard. I am here. 
My name is I AM. 

Chipping away

Hi, I've been studying a load of singers of late and it's really fascinating checking out the variety of techniques they use during songs to pull off certain tones and textures. I like Jorja Smith as she has that soulful sound but changes to a twang of Amy Winehouse which is really interesting in a lot of ways.

I'm gigging in Tottenham next week - Yay.